I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
