Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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