And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
