Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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