Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
