Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just high enough for therapy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
