Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
