A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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