I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
it hurts more in the daytime
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
