does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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