You made me cry and you don't even care
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
