I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize