your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
