I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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