i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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