ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
