Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
