I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize