Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
