Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
