The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
