Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
