remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
