So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
