the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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