I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
