Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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