Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
