Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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