Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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