I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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