wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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