if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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