I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
