He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
