So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
