Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
