I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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