So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
