I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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