you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
