Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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