1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
