By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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