You just made me feel so damn special
she was so not down for the gang bang
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
