HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
