Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
