i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
