And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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