It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
