in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
