i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
