Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
