There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
