Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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