Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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