he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
