Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
