i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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