I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just had sex bonerless
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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