Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
