i would punch a child for taco bell
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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